Over the weekend I watched a film about a mother raising two young boys by herself, she was abandoned by the young boys father, and left to care for them on her own. During the course of the movie the mother worked countless hours to afford to feed and clothe the boys, never tending to her own needs. She raised them up to be respectful and pushed them to learn all that they could so that they would be successful. When her sons would doubt themselves she would speak words of empowerment and encouragement over them, pushing them to do their best. By the end of the movie, both of her sons were successful and flourishing in their careers. Her youngest son a Neurosurgeon and her oldest an Engineer. It is not easy being a single mother, especially to boys, because boys need their father. Though remarkably one thing that stuck out about this mother was, even during the hardest of times she spoke nothing but positive affirmations and uplifted her sons. She encouraged them so much, anytime the youngest son found himself facing adversity he would always repeat to himself his mother's words. "Of course you can do it. If anybody can do it, you can do it, except you can do it better."
The world we live in today women are becoming the heads of the household and playing the role of mommy and daddy. Women are forced to constantly pick up the slack, where the men have dropped the ball. The sad thing is we all play the blame game and point fingers at each other, causing even more damage resulting in an even bigger gap between one another.
Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
The Problem: If we can understand this principle, then we can see a change. Understand that men were created to be the Head of the Household. They were created to protect, provide, and lead their family on the right path, allowing for God to bless them all with the best life possible. Well if the world could find a way to get the man not to do his part, then everything else would fall apart as well. If you can cut down, distract, or destroy the head then everything else will follow suit. So what we see today is when men do not submit to the role of being the head, a woman now takes his place. Which has never ever been God's plan. In Genesis God said that is was not good for man to be alone. So He created woman to be man's partner in life. Well if the world can separate that partnership then they can diminish the amazing life God called them to have. So now what you see is men being distracted by money, sexual desires, and things that cause him to reject what he knows is right. And we see women taking on the responsibility of men. Men are distracted and women are being burdened. The world's most famous lie to our men is that they have a long time left to get it together. So they wait until their late 20's-30's to begin to do the right thing, not realizing it is now even harder to get their life on track. So right now the world is succeeding at making sure God's people never have the life He always had planned for them because we are out of order.
Proverbs 18:21 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words."
The Solution: Once we understand the problem, we can attack it with the solution. Our words have power and what ever we speak out we will have to live with. We cannot ourselves as women change men. The only person that can change someone's heart is God. Therefore, our job as women, is to pray and consistently speak words of affirmation and encouraging words over the men in our life. We spend numerous hours complaining with our friends about our fathers, brothers, sons, boyfriends, and husbands. Many women go as far as telling the men in their life that they will never amount to anything, they'll end up just like their father, or that they are simply no good. Now, I understand that at the time that person may be acting exactly as you are describing. Though what you now have done is tore down their identity and agreed with what the world has already told them about themselves. They begin to believe what they have been told for years and what is spoken, continues to be. Well just think, what if for every negative word ever spoken, a positive word replaced it. What if all the time we spend complaining was spent praying for them. This is not an easy task, it can be hard watching someone destroy their life and act so selfishly, not worried about the people they hurt. But even in the mist of seeing this, we must chose life giving words over death. Many men are looking for an identity, they do not know who they are, and they are not sure of their purpose. So when we as family members, friends, and significant others fail to uplift them with Life giving words and the word of God, they receive their identity from the things of this world. Which only leads to destruction, causing the whole family order to fall out of place.
The Challenge: I challenge every woman who reads this blog to share it with 3 or more males in their life. Not only do I want you to share it, I also want you now to make a conscious decision to replace every negative thing you have to say about the men in your life with something positive. God tells us to, "call those things that be not, as though they are." Which means even when the men in our life are not doing as they should, we speak the opposite of what we see. There is so much power in prayer and we can hardened our hearts and turn away from our calling to be sisters in Christ to our brothers or we can pray for them purposely seeking change. Do not get discouraged or impatient, in due time God can change a heart.
Ezekiel 36:26-27 "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
"Lord, I thank you for the men you have placed in my life and the men I will encounter in the future. I pray that during times of adversity, I fight my human nature and instead of speaking negatively, I only speak words of encouragement. I thank you that you are building up Men of God that will resume their position as the Head, and will lead their families to greatness. I thank you for the partnership between men and women that is being rebuilt and through you will remain firm and steadfast. I thank you that the men in my life will seek you at all times, causing them to have a change of heart, making better decisions for their life. I pray that any hold that the things of the world have on them will be removed and they will now have a desire for the things of goodness. I pray that any past hurt, unforgiveness, and disappointment is released to you so that they can move forward toward a better life. I pray that the generation of young men we are building up, will be young Men of God, and will not suffer the things of the previous generations. We ask all these things in Jesus Name, Amen."
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Have a great week and as always I will be praying for each and every one of you! - Love, Rissa
Clarissa C. Burton, M.S.W
Devoted to guiding others toward living a life they don't need a vacation from.