Growing up I loved watching romantic comedies or what some call "Chick Flicks". I literally fell in love with the typical plot of girl meets guy, they fall in love, have a big argument and depart for awhile, then somehow magically run into each other proclaiming their love for one another. They either end up getting married or walking off into the sunset and the movie is over. My head was full of this fairy tale stuff and I couldn't wait until it was my turn. So whenever I would begin getting to know a guy I already had our whole story wrote out in my head. Little did I know, the movies were not real depictions of true life. I was dealing with real people in the real world, no script, and no actors. I would constantly find myself always giving more than he was giving. I always tried to be understanding, never purposely hurting him in anyway, and always being open about how I felt. No matter how much I gave of myself, I always ended up hurt and I just could not understand why.
I could not understand why after always supporting his dreams, I never received the same support back. I could not understand why after never breaking a promise, he would break his promises. I felt that I was always nice, always giving, and always upfront about everything. In my head I just could not comprehend how someone could treat the person who supports them, would never hurt them, and always makes time for them so poorly. Then finally in the midst of that thought, I realized something, and I broke down and began to cry...
This is how I treated God all the time. I didn't make time for Him, even though He always made time for me. I was never truly there when He needed me, but I sure did always call on Him when I needed something. I would cry if plans were broken off or if I went days without hearing from a guy, but wouldn't cry or notice if I even made time to talk to God. I always broke promises, but He never broke His. He is always nice, always supporting me, and would never hurt me. Yet, here I was constantly pouring all I was supposed to be giving to Him, into someone who did not even realize my worth. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me on the cross, yet here I was treating Him exactly how I never could imagine someone being treated. I cried out for hours, because what I had just realized hurt me. It hurt me to know that I was doing exactly what I hated being done to me, to someone who loves me more than anyone ever could. That day I made a change and my life has never been the same since.
I decided to break all ties with guys from the past and my focus was on the one who knew my worth, who thought I was amazing enough to die for, and who loved me more than I could even fathom. I made the decision that from that day forward I belonged to God, my time and attention belonged to Him. I began to develop a relationship with Him. I would spend hours talking to Him, reading His word, and loving on the people He sent my way that needed help. The more I drew near to Him, I felt Him draw near to me. I would find myself having a hunger for His word and did not want to miss a day of reading my bible. I found myself talking to God more, crying with God and even laughing with God. Every void I had, He filled. He became my father, my friend, and my husband. Anything I desired before, He took place of those desires. I no longer felt loneliness or the fear of never being enough. I was completely falling in love and I knew I had embarked on a love that could never be duplicated by anyone or anything else.
What they don't show in the movies is that relationships take time to develop. They won't grow without patience, love, communication, consistency, understanding, selflessness, and quality time. That's exactly what I chose to give to God. Before I can truly love anyone else, I had to first learn to love my creator. Many times we do not understand why our relationships do not go as planned and constantly fail. It's because two people will never be able to understand what love is or how to love if they first do not love God, because God is love (1 John 4:8). The world has a way of creating an illusion that love is something you can capture in a picture or in one moment. Love is a daily decision and the best definition of it cannot be found in a Facebook quote or the cutest meme on Instagram.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
I wake up full of Joy and I go to bed with even more Joy. On the bad days, God is still right there to remind me of His promises, and not to quit during the process. I am whole with God, never lacking anything. There will come a day where I will get married, but thanks to my relationship with the Father, I know who I am and I will be able to recognize the man He has for me. I will be able to recognize Him by the way He not only treats me, but how He treats God.
After years of growing up watching love movies, I was able to star in my own love story. It grows everyday and it is something that a movie could never capture. It is very real, there's no departing from it, and there will always be a Joyful ending. I fell in love with God and it was and still is, more than just a love story.
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Have a great week and as always I will be praying for each and every one of you! - Love, Rissa