1. Everything is going well in my life, but why do I still feel like something is missing? I have had this feeling at times too. Where nothing was really wrong, but I just felt as if something was missing. There was no excitement and I had grown pretty bored with my everyday routine. So what I did was made a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish and I began to work on them. I started little by little on each thing and of course I know some goals will not be able to be reached until I'm older, but I started on the ones that could get done now. I also started to volunteer to keep myself busy and spent more time with God. Sometimes the missing ingredient is more time with Him and other times it's just a season of silence for us. A season where our routine will be just to go to work, school, and home all week. During that time we just have to learn to be content exactly where we are and rest up for the times where we will have a lot going on. All in all, if nothing helps, prayer will. God wanted for us to have nothing lacking or missing, so seek Him and see what could be missing in your life.
2. I'd be the perfect wife! Where is my man? OMG, I have definitely thought this before, but that all changed. Many women believe they would be the perfect wife, but do not even know what it means to be a perfect wife. Being a wife is not just for posting pictures and wearing a ring. It takes hard work and dedication to be submissive to your husband everyday and take care of a household. Being married requires us to have a certain level of selflessness that many women are not yet ready for. Take your time as a single to develop into a great woman first. If it is your desire to be married ask God to begin to prepare you. Realize that being a wife is more than a title. Also, understand timing is everything, patience is needed. Trust me you will not be single forever, but until you are married work on being patient and spending your time wisely. Do not waste your single years moping around about not having a man. Use it to build up yourself and build up others around you. Give back to your community, do all the things that you can now, because believe it or not when you are married with children you will have less time to do certain things. Be patient and Enjoy life, your Mr. will come at the perfect time.
3. My life is a mess, any tips on how to prioritize? Things can get pretty crazy and with only 24hrs in a day, only so much can be done. Luckily, things can get back on track if you find yourself in a mess right now. First, make a list of everything that is not in order in your life right now. Place the more severe things at the top and so on. Next, for every issue on the list devise a plan of action. For example, if you want to do better with your finances, come up with a plan on how you can save more on certain items and make a list of some things you can cut back on like fast food and outings for awhile. Whatever the issue may be, come up with a strategy of how it can be fixed. It helps to put everything out in front of you and really see the big picture, that's why making a list is always important. Once you have your list and strategies put the plan into action. Every time you accomplish a goal mark it off until you have no more issues on the list. Some issues will be easier to fix, while others may take longer. Whatever the case may be do not give up. It also helps to put encouraging scriptures next to each item on the list. That way whenever you feel yourself getting discouraged you have a reminder that all things are possible with God.
4. You're young, beautiful, and seem God fearing. With all those qualities, Do you ever feel like you're overqualified in the dating world? When I graduated from college, I asked myself this question. I used to fear that guys would be too intimidated to talk to me and that I would be the stereotypical successful yet single woman you see in the movies, like the roles Gabrielle Union always plays.lol I am one of the youngest in my Master's program and it did frighten me that most men my age might not be on the same level as me. Then, I realized if God created me this way then I am more than certain He created a man that would be man enough to date me. A man should not be threatened by you as a successful woman. Trust me, the right man will know that a woman that wants to be educated and successful is a woman to be treasured and held on to.
5. Is there a happy medium between independence and submission? Yes, I definitely believe so. Independence is needed for both men and women. As adults we should be able to take care of ourselves and not expect to be spoon fed everything in life. We should be able to keep a job, take care of our home, and care for our belongings. However, we should also be mature enough to submit to God, authority figures, and our husbands. Being submissive does not mean let someone walk all over you and tell you what to do all the time. It means to respect that they are in a position as the head and trust the decisions they make as the head. We may not always agree, but we must trust that the positions they govern were given to them because they could handle them. Submission to God means to give everything to Him and let Him handle it for us. It means to stop worrying and stressing and give your burdens to God. It is the true art of surrendering and letting Him be the author of your life.
6. Can music really influence my lifestyle? Yes, yes, and yes! Our thoughts and actions are influenced by our eyes (what we see/watch), ears (what we hear), and our mouth (what we say). If you do not filter your eyes, ears, and mouth you can be influenced to do the wrong thing. For example, our emotions can easily be persuaded by music. You know when you hear a sweet love song and you start thinking of how you are missing a significant other. If we are in a depressed mood or just recently went through a breakup we tend to listen to sad love songs, which keeps us in that sad and depressed mood. Or how sexual songs tend to influence people to crave or have sex. Research was done on what type of music most convicted drug dealers listened to prior to being incarcerated. Over 95.5% listened to rap music that promoted drug use, drug sales, and violence. I know the songs are catchy and everyone listens to them, but you have to be careful of the things that you listen to. Not filtering can influence your emotions which can cause you to act on what you are seeing, hearing, or saying. So yes, music can influence our lifestyle. We must learn to filter outside sources so that our emotions remain stable and our actions positive.
7. What is the difference between courting and dating? Courting is designed for the relationship to result in marriage. Dating is designed to get to know different people and the desired outcome may be unknown. Many date for connections or hookups. Others date to see what they like and what they dislike. Courting is designed to guide a couple to marriage. If you are courting in the Christian setting this may look like going on group dates to prevent too much alone time, not being alone together during late hours, and not engaging in sex until marriage. A man that is courting a woman is letting her know my goal for us is to be married. It is not a promise that they will be married, but it is an agreement that both parties have the same goal in mind. That way no one is wondering if marriage is an option for the future. I actually hope I meet someone that wants to court instead of just dating to be dating. What I want for my life is to meet someone and build towards a life together. I do not particularly want to go from boyfriend to boyfriend.
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Have a great week and as always I will be praying for each and every one of you! - Love, Rissa
Clarissa C. Burton, M.S.W
Devoted to guiding others toward living a life they don't need a vacation from.